Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Dear future self...

...somewhere between 12am and 2am, you are going to need this *replaces empty toilet paper roll*

Parts of aging really suck, especially that middle-of-the-night pee run, which never went away after I gave birth to Owen.  I'm pretty sure I won't make a full 8 hrs of sleep for the remainder of my life.

Something I wish I could do is share my knowledge and experience with my boys.  I'm sure all parents feel this way, and the frustration is beyond words for me.  Of course we preach and scold and praise and do all manner of things to encourage or discourage certain behaviors but the bottom line is that they can't see the potential pitfalls of the future as well as we can and grabbing and shaking them certainly won't work.  I know for me, personally, I need to work better on seeing and utilizing the natural consequences that result from behaviors or habits, so they can see and learn from their own experience (with guidance, of course). I personally think Zach would benefit from more practice in several areas of his life, one evidenced by his open arm stance in these photos...not fully guarded or blocked.  But screaming it from the rooftops won't make it happen, he needs to learn the value of practice for himself.  I'm fairly certain his sparring class will make this one pretty evident...

 I find that avoiding sheltering is probably the hardest part of parenting...it can be difficult figuring out when to speak up, when to lay low, and what advice to take when it's given by so many 'well-wishers'.  However, threatening in a shouting voice to 'call your sensei and tell him how disrespectful you are!' is really not the role of a non-parent.  And if you are a parent, calling a sensei to deal with your poorly behaved child is pitiful parenting.  Discussing concerns with involved adults can be helpful, in that I don't disagree, and involving a karate instructor who is willing and eager to impart wisdom and teaching could be invaluable.  But don't threaten my kid.  I wrote earlier about not speaking up when someone is upsetting you, but that doesn't mean shouting threats at a kid is the way to go about it.  Had the aforementioned person simply stated "It really makes me feel disrespected when you don't answer me", I'm sure Zach would have responded much more favorably and I wouldn't have been seething inside.  Sheltering from that perspective is A-OK and necessary, in my opinion.  I only wish I had done a better job of it.  And as you can see, his sensei (now Kyoshi) is more than ready and proud to promote him ♥  Way to go on the brown belt, Zach!






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