Since I'm in backtrack mode...

Here are some pics from Owen's gymnastics 'class'. They allow cameras only once per semester, and as you can see, his favorite activity is jumping. He really doesn't have time for those pesky balance beams or parallel bars or ladders or anything else really. Although he does love that foam pit!

And then some cookies I made for Zach's Christmas party at school. They were more for his birthday than Christmas, since he's always out on break and doesn't get the typical 'mom's bringing cupcakes to school for my birthday!' that most kids get. I was praying none of the kids had a red dye sensitivity b/c holy crap there was a lot of red gel food coloring in there. They were a hit :) Making them, however, was not an easy task. Especially with Owen trying to grab them, picking off the pearls, licking the top, etc. I was glad to get out of the house with enough viable cookies to feed his class.

Merry Christmas...ummm...a week ago...

and Happy New Year while I'm at it! Hey, maybe I'll start the 365 project all over again tomorrow and actually keep at it. Excuse me? Don't laugh at me. It's possible.

Santa brought exactly what Zachary asked for...Construction Devastator. And Owen got a Radio Flyer Big Wheel. It's a little too big at the moment, but he'll grow into it sooner than I'd like. My baby's getting so big.

We also have a new kitty, her name is Tessa. We endured another heart-breaking pet loss, and I just couldn't bear to tell Zachary that our beloved Misha was gone. It happened so fast, and on the last day of school...how could I ruin his Christmas break? The dilemma was solved when I found Tessa on PetFinders the next day. We delayed breaking the news about Misha until we had Tessa home with us and her presence really softened the blow. She has been the best cat EVER....more human than cat it seems, extremely sweet and even allows Owen to carry her upside down (although I don't allow it!). We love her just as much as we miss Misha. And we now have a lime tree next to our orange tree (the Elmo tree).

Dear old friend, I am here again...

Such an unlikely time to be posting...sitting outside on the ground watching a fire dance and swirl in the chimenea. All alone. Yes, you heard me. All alone. Kevin is at work and the boys went to spend the day with Grammy and Grandaddy at Sea World. I think I have really needed this day...I didn't do anything fancy, in fact I went out to Lowes and bought a butt-load of dirt and herbs and such to re-start my pitiful garden. And I worked my ass off outside (well, not literally, but a gal can wish can't she?) digging up and planting and putting down nemacide and compost and dirt and dumping old pots, refilling them and watering and fertilizing and on and on...

I hope they grow.

So I sit here with a glass of wine and the flames aren't so large, they've died down quite a bit to the point that I wonder if a fire is really burning and then you see a delicate yellow tentacle whip out to claim a piece of wood that was lying in limbo...

It's so beautiful out here. I turned off the porch light and I was amazed to see how well lit the yard still was. I looked up, it's just a little over half a moon full, but so much light. The palm fronds--you know they are green, and your brain doesn't really give over to what it sees over what it knows--but if you try hard enough you can see that they aren't green, they are BLACK and they are wearing silver sheaths over each leaf, a silver that comes and goes depending on the movement as it sways ever so delicately in the gentle moonlight. I don't think I ever really paid that much attention to them before, it's like a black and white ball for the foliage.

So I look around at my baby plants. My little babies...I so want them to grow. I can't make real babies very well (well, the ones I DO make are amazing!) and I still grieve the one I lost. The one I was mourning when I went to a Beltaine festival where I actually bought this cloak, and so I remember that time whenever I wear it. Sometimes I cry but I don't tell anyone, it's not so much acceptable to miss a child you never knew, never held, never even got very far along in pregnancy with. It's just a 'miscarriage', never mind you saw a beating heart. I think it was a girl. I think she's out there somewhere. I wish I knew her.

However, I have the two best little boys in the world. And I want these plants to grow and nourish them, and teach them. Respect life, even if you aren't sure that it's alive...give it hope and love and faith. Be patient and caring. What you give is what you will receive.

I thought "Oh Mother Earth and Father Sky...please make my hands healing hands, growing hands." I don't really know what prompted the thought or titles, but it seemed to fit. "Sister Moon dancing with the wind and the trees, share your magic with my little ones." And the trees tilt and sway in perfect harmony with the wind, the silver sheaths glimmering...black, then silver, then black again...and the fire reaches up for a taste of the wood given to sustain it and the moon smiles down and I'm so glad I've had a chance to spend a few moments alone with Mother Nature.

Hah-WEEEEE!!

Holly and Owen. A match made...well, not in heaven. Dear lord, it's making me crazy, as much as I love them both. Owen screams when she gets near and he has food, but then turns around and dumps it in the floor so she can eat it. Or he gets up behind her and pulls her tail, grabs her head, twists her neck around and pokes his fingers in her eyes to 'play'. Or he sits on the couch with a 'Boat!' (bowl) of snacks/raisins/etc ie. not necessarily dog friendly food, and proceeds to either drop some on the floor, into the cracks of the couch, or just make it easy on himself and dump the entire contents into the couch, thus saving the time it takes to accidentally spill that amount.

Holly, in turn, goes to the couch at various times during the day sticking her head into and under the cushions, looking for treats. She immediately runs under the table when he's forced to eat there (it's a battle, I have to take a few losses here just to get non-liquid sustenance into him) waiting for the inevitable bits that fall from his plate. She sniffs and licks his toes, he screams, I yell at her and chase her out only for her to sneak back under when I turn, about 0.78 minutes later.

She is fed 2 times a day, and she used to really scarf it down, but lately she's been a bit slow with eating. I should be better at removing her uneaten portion, but alas, I'm always doing something else. Or at least THINKING about doing something else. Owen loves dog food. I think it's the crunch. He also loves dumping it out. And for some reason, Holly likes it better when he dumps it out, she gobbles it up pretty quickly. Maybe it's because there is competition, no longer safe in a bowl in her crate.

And Owen seems to think that by hiding his face, I can't see him.

We love tooshies!

It's time for I ♥ Faces' weekly contest and this week they ♥ Tooshies! Now, I have some cute nekkid tooshies floating around on my comp here, but the rules clearly state NO NEKKID BUTTS! And I am not a rule breaker. Simply because I always get caught. Who else gets pulled over for going 37 mph? As far as I know, I'm the only person in existence to get that honor.

Anyway, here is Owen's tush from March. On the beach, chasing the gulls, I know the photo could use a little creative touch but I'm SO behind in posting photos, I feel as if spending more time on this would not be good for my photo karma. Poor baby. His tooshie is hidden by the swim diaper and then the shorts over that. But the saggy pants aren't stopping him! We almost had gull soup for dinner.













Head on over to I ♥ Faces to see some really cute tooshies! And maybe in the meantime I'll edit his pic and reupload it. Mwahahaha.

I am so behind...

I have taken tons of pictures. But they need some work, resizing, etc. Let me see if I have any that are already fixed to go...

Ok, this is our neighbor's daughter in law. I really like the processing here. Her eyes are so bright.













And here is Owen, doing something with yogurt...you might say he's eating it. Remember my post about how glad I was that he was using utensils and the food wasn't getting everywhere? Yeah. I should have kept my mouth shut.














And here he is looking bored with me. I'm sure he is, he's too smart for the likes of this old broad.

Christmas card preview

If you are expecting a Christmas card from me and want to be surprised, you shouldn't be reading this post. But I won't post all the images I'm using, just two. Two of my favorites.

I can't believe I have such good looking boys.

I Heart Faces - Sun flare

I took this photo back in January, hard to believe almost a full year has gone by since then. It was a lucky 'mistake' as I didn't realize how much sun was hitting the lens, but once I got in and saw the larger image, I fell in love with the streaks of sunlight lining the photo. And his blue eyes just really popped :) Go check out the amazing work of the awesome photogs posting at I ♥ Faces!



PS...don't forget to click the photo for a larger version ;)

Happy Veteran's Day

Not sure that's the best title, it seems a little irreverant for the day. I would, however, like to take this moment to thank my Boom-Pa for the part he played in WW II, and all the years he served this country. He is a true hero and a perfect gentleman, with a side of wise man to boot. You ask him a question, you get an answer, gentle and honest and soulful. I remember as a young girl I used to sit on his lap and 'play' with a small piece of shrapnel under his skin on the pad of his thumb. I would ask him why he never had it taken out and he would reply "Because it doesn't bother me." Never a need for the non-necessities in life. He is a rock, and a soft place all wrapped up in one.

I wish I had met Bernie, my uncle's dad. Bernard Conway, many times decorated and passed before I had a chance to know him. My Uncle D is a true dad to me, the one I turn to when I have a bad day and need to blow steam, or want to figure something out or have a technical question, whether it's housing or computers. He knows just about everything. He himself was in the Air Force as well as his father. I must say I'm pretty glad my aunt realized her first 2 husbands weren't quite what she was looking for because the third time was the charm. I did get to know (and live with!) his mom for a while, one of the more memorable people in my life. I have a ring she left me, one that his dad (Bernie) had made for her. He got the stone while in South America, a huge amethyst, some story about breaking the bank in a casino and they got paid in gems...can't remember all the details. But it's quite a story, let me tell you. I get to think of him, and her, and Uncle D every time I wear it. I just wish I had met him, one of the many vets I remember today.

There are also my two brothers who have served in the armed forces, Caleb and William. Both during times of war and turmoil. I love them both and am so grateful they are home now, safe and sound.

Blessings to all who fight and support our country, our freedom. I honor you with my heart today.

I had some pics all prepared to post, but I've decided I should post photos of those who I'm thinking of today instead.

Ok, I'm going to keep looking, but I think all the pics I have of Boom-pa are on my old 'dead' heard drive that I have yet to try and recover photos from...b/c I am scared. Anyway...here's William...see the tall dude hiding? yeah, he was hiding in ALL the pics. You wouldn't believe what a little pipsqueak he used to be.












And there there's Caleb, another little munchkin. Oh, I guess you get double Caleb b/c he's also in the above pic with William. I can still kick his butt, btw. And that hat? He gave it to me. And then he stole it back. If you see him, please retrieve it for me. Love ya, Caleb!












Uncle D...this photo is altered w/round corners b/c I was working on a PW rounded corners challenge. And I like the coloring of this, which I didn't do to the original.

I am thankful for...

So I have been spending a lot of time surfing around, looking at photo sites and whatnot. I have been doing some of the Pioneer Woman's photo challenges, but I need MORE to keep me moving, and challenged. Not that her stuff doesn't challenge me, but sheesh...she has so many people following her and some AMAZING photographers, it's sometimes depressing to see how pitiful I look against the others. I am pretty sure that the I ♥ Faces crew has just as many outstanding picture takers, but it's something new to me so I'm on board. Hooray!

This week's contest/challenge isn't so much of a contest, but a chance to share your story in pictures. I figure for me it's a chance to learn how to submit a photo to I ♥ Faces and make sure I know what the heck I'm doing. I have some pics I took a few days ago that I haven't posted, so I'll simply use them. Not that it lessens the thankfulness part, mind you.

Here is Owen. Being true Owen. This little guy has made me crazy, angry, exhausted, emotionally drained yet so exhiliratingly happy (is that a word?). We waited so long for him. I don't think I will ever forget the hurt of not having him when we thought we should...not that I simply didn't get what I wanted, but the hurt of needing to feel those little baby arms and smell that little baby breath and feel those little baby fingers and toes.... we weren't prepared for a trial of several years waiting and pregnancy loss. I wasn't prepared to NEED and ache and cry and feel my heart being ripped open by others' unplanned, unwanted pregnancies. That really doesn't sound exactly like I meant, I have a hard time describing how it feels...but it's an ache that will always be echoed in my soul.

I see him on a daily basis and sometimes I still can't believe he's here. So I am grateful for him. And for being blessed with the job of being his mother. I'm grateful that the scab on his nose (and the two on his forehead that are hiding behind his hair) is only a surface wound. I'm grateful that when he pulled the refrigerator tray out, he wasn't injured. I'm grateful that when he climbed into the kitchen sink he didn't fall and break some body part. When he pulls the cat's tail, I'm thankful that she only nips at him. I'm thrilled that the tv is covered in handprints, b/c it's keeping him from falling when he climbs up to reach the high shelf of DVD's. I am thankful that he likes yogurt and fruit (because he doesn't like anything else!). And I am even thankful that he poured a bottle of oil on the couch, because that means he is HERE and he is OURS and he gives the sweetest kisses and says 'yotes' for yogurt and lets the dog out of her crate when I'm sweeping up broken glass and he loves his 'wubby' (brother). I am thankful for Owen.

And the dog. Yes, she has definitely added some insanity. But Zach still misses Elmo so much, he was wishing the Halloween Candy Witch would trade him a puppy Elmo for his candy instead of money. But Elmo is in doggy heaven, we have Holly, and Zach loves her. So she will stay.

So there, the pics I took a couple of days ago, and why I am thankful for them.

Quickly posting pics...

Here's Owen from H'ween. He's too damn hard to get decent photos of (and yes, I know you shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition).

Happy Halloween!

These are from Zach's character parade at school yesterday, he was Merlin. Tonight he will be the Emperor of Evil, and Owen a pirate. Cross your fingers that I actually get photos of them.

Another one of THOSE days

...where I get to showcase how awesome I am NOT. I guess there was a very, VERY good reason we weren't allowed to have Owen for several years, there is no way I could handle him and another small-ish child. I don't know what other words to use besides FAST and destructive and FAST. I'm so glad he hasn't injured himself horribly, I can only pray that his guardian angel doesn't get worn out.

The lock to the refrigerator just broke yesterday. I should have gotten it replaced, but it hasn't been more than a nuisance with his opening the door frequently, never a danger issue. Until today. I even made sure his sippy cup was on a low shelf in case he decided to go looking for it.

Keep in mind that shelf was over his head. He escaped unscathed, although perhaps a little startled.

Do you like calamari?

I don't. There's no really good reason, other than the thought of a squid in my mouth makes me want to puke. It is a bit fishy tasting, and fairly tough and chewy. But overall, it's pretty much the mental image of a squid in my mouth that turns me off. Most of the time, you order calamari and it's just deep fried fishy chewy rings of stuff. Tonight, Zach wanted calamari. So I ordered it. And further deepened my distaste.

Yeah, he ate it. I think he was an alien pod that I gestated. Certainly not my son.

With time comes change...

Do you remember the adventures in self feeding? Well, I do. And look how much he's grown up!

October 22

I actually took this photo several days ago but only just now went through and actually zoomed in...it wasn't very impressive as a shrunken preview to fit the whole image on the screen, but I think Zach's face is just lovely, now that I've seen it. Even sweaty and with splotchy sunlight coming through the tree branches.

In the words of Kevin #2, "he is a beautiful boy". My handsome dude, growing up on me.

And another one, just because I'm a slacker

And I've gotten a lot done today. This is Owen again, in the sandbox, attempting to empty it. Apparently. I don't try to understand him. It's too exhausting, and just when I think I've got it figured out, he proves me wrong.

Having too much fun

...with all these texture possibilities. But at least it's distracting me from Owen's latest...he fell off the couch last night and got a huge blue lump on his forehead immediately. It freaked me out, he has hit hard so many times and NEVER has he had a bump like this. I don't even really know how it happened...he kept getting up and down from the couch and wanting to get between me and the arm of it, and ON the arm of it...one minute he was sitting there and the next he was headfirst hitting the floor. I almost took him to the ER but then calmed down a little and decided to watch him closely, and he's fine. I did keep him in my bed so I could keep close tabs on him (and make sure he was able to wake up now and then) and he slept great. Today the lump is mostly gone, it's down to a typical swelling and purple/brown coloring. Ay, dios mio. My heart can't take much more of his antics and injuries.

So here's an altered pic of my little stinker, I think it's from May? Can't remember. Back in the spring sometime, the original is on here somewhere.

Texturize your life!

Or not...I thought that just sounded cool. Still spending way too much time playing around with programs. Today I was trying to learn texture, so here are 3 repeat photos, with some texture and effects applies.

Just messing around

Having a little fun. Although he doesn't appear to be having any fun.

*yawn*

I am trying hard to get back into this thing, believe it or not. I just suck suck SUCK at organization, and trying to get things done around here ends up with me running in circles as each task puts me in range of another task, which distracts me from the first task....doing the dishes, I need to clean off the counter. Grab the old dish cloth and take it to the laundry room. Pass the dining room table on the way, see Zach's Transformer on the table. Drape the dish towel over my shoulder, grab the Transformer and drop it off in his room. Bathroom door is open, I peek inside and see that there's toothpaste glopped all over the sink. Big sigh, go in, wipe it up. Bath toys lying all over the floor...they MUST be picked up, they are dripping water everywhere. While doing that, the dog runs in and grabs one, I take off chasing her, get the toy and the chase has led to the family room where OF COURSE the cushions have been removed from the couch by Owen. Bend over to pick up cushions, dish towel falls off my shoulder. Oh yeah, I need to put that in the laundry room! Set it aside for a second to finish putting the couch back together....

Now this semi-fictitious scenario hasn't even accounted for the fact that as I'm doing these random things, none of which contribute to my goal of CLEAN KITCHEN! Owen would be running around wreaking havoc throughout the house, or worse, injuring himself. And that's just if it all takes place while Zach is in school. While a good kid, and quite helpful, there is a different energy in the house when he's home and things just go even crazier. Especially the dog.

Speaking of Owen, he fell out of the computer chair today. I knew it was going to happen. It has almost happened several times and I have had my heart stop on many many occasions just watching him regain composure at the last split second, or be grabbed by dh or myself. But today, it was full on over the side, head on the floor, face against the desk...I think my heart literally made it's way up past my epiglottis. He was climbing from one chair to the other (which I was in) and they have WHEELS! and as I felt him coming over the arm of his chair to mine, about to grab him, I sensed him fall and watched it all happen in slow motion. And if that wasn't good enough, he tried again later to climb up into my chair, over the arm, slipped and busted his mouth on the arm rest. And I haven't been in this chair much today! ARRGGHHH.

Zach, not to be outdone, took off after Holly after she had nabbed a toy that didn't belong to her and took off in a flash out of the room. Do NOT chase the dog! But no, he had to save the day, and the toy, apparently. I think it was just the principle of the matter, Holly is in full fledged doggie adolescence and she's been harder to handle lately. Anyway, he zipped around a corner and his knee collided with the corner of a small chest I have. The knee already had a nice sized scab on it from something, I don't even know what, and all I heard was a banshee scream...as I rounded the corner I saw him writhing on the floor, legs up to his chest. There was mucho blood...he managed to rip off the whole scab and extend the injured area as a cut reached down further out of it. As I got him propped up on the bathroom sink, got ice and water, etc etc, I had to keep running out of the room to remove my cup of tea, Zach's cup of tea (herbal, no caffeine!) check the computer chairs, etc, just to make sure that Owen didn't take advantage of this brief lack of supervision to find yet another way to hurt HIMself again.

Zach thinks he should get to stay home from school tomorrow because he REALLY hurt his knee and he may not even be able to walk.

So I haven't taken any pics since the last ones I posted. I have, however, been spending a lot of time browsing actions for Photoshop, trying to find ways to tweak the pics to make them look more interesting, artsy, anything really. And if you are reading this and feel benevolent, I'm accepting donations to buy Lightroom and Imagenomic's Portraiture.

These actions have quite a learning curve. Sigh. It takes so much time, time that lets Owen hurt himself. At least he didn't find the honey from our tea. I can only imagine how THAT would be all in the couch.

Anyway, here are a few I've played with. Not suggesting that they look better, but they DO look different. Which is cool.

Two posts in one day?

Say it ain't so! And with fresh photos to boot! It's like photo sushi!

Zach had a play date today, after school, and I'm so happy he's found a good friend to hang out with. She and he are two peas in a pod, they like the same toys, are just as rough as each other and have a blast playing together. And her parents are pretty cool, too ;) After quite a bit of play time outside with the hose (and the dog!) they spent a while on the Wii being Indiana Jones (of a lego sort) and didn't even want to leave when we were ready to head out for dinner. I was actually all prepared (and excited!) to cook a roast...tangent...our a/c hasn't been working well at all and it seems like it is FINALLY functional and really cooling off the place, so I thought I could may try using the oven again. It's been a long time. However, the roast never fully defrosted so it's in the fridge waiting until tomorrow.

So we pried the kids off the wii and headed to Squid Lips, a local restaurant set on the water. River, not ocean. They have an outside area set up like a beach, and although it's a small strip of sand and lots of rocks, Zach and Kirra were excited to go...more water play!

It was one of the best dinners we've had in a while. Not sure about the food, even though it was good...I had my appetite somewhat diverted by Zach and Kirra's exciting motherload of worms they'd found in the sand. Owen had a great time kicking around in the sand in and around the tables and chairs, getting complimented left and right by all the folks there, Kirra and Zach were splashing, swimming, digging in the sand...I'm sure we'll be headed back before too long.

An 'abandoned' boat lay on the sand, Kirra wanted to be George Washington and I think she nailed it. The nearby boardwalk was great for a quick bit of running and letting the wind dry off the wet clothes before we had to head home and deliver Kirra back to her parents. All in all a wonderful time, peaceful, no sibling fussing or fighting...ahhhhhhh. Thank-you for coming over, Kirra!