Owen LOVES loves loves Yo Gabba Gabba. If you don't know what that is, consider yourself lucky. Anyway, we have several episodes DVR'd and he watches way too much tv on a daily basis, always asking for 'Dabba dabble dabba!'. It's easy to turn it on, let him watch and let ME do something productive. Or unproductive, whatever the case may be.
Today I decided to get some deeper cleaning done. Why? Because I'm really not much of a deep cleaner unless I HAVE to and the HAVE to reason is that the Terminix guy is coming to maybe spray the inside of the house. Owen got bit by something during a nap that gave him a nasty bite...I have a photo of how it looked on the second day, I've never seen anything like it. I know it was a bite b/c the first day it looked like a bite, a big red welt...just a lot bigger than most new bites are. Anyway, how can I have a bug guy come to my house and look at my floors and dusty baseboards and cobwebs in the ceiling corners (which I never notice until it's too late) and crumbs in more places than I know exist and think to himself "Well, if they weren't so slovenly surely they wouldn't have bugs in their house!" Not that we've SEEN any bugs, just a few spiders here and there which I try to live with peacefully. It's FL, you're gonna have some bugs somewhere.
So, I figured I should have music that I enjoy to help me deal with this cleaning business. He's already seen one episode of Yo Gabba Gabba today, surely it won't hurt him for me to actually turn OFF the tv and let him play with his millions of toys. Right?
After I send Zach off to school, I grab my new tennis shoes to put them on, make sure I like how they feel and break them in. How long does that take? Not long...as I stand up I glance into the family room where he's busy amusing himself. With a cup. Dipping his hands in it and then wiping them on the couch, his books that are there, almost like he's painting. The cup that Zach left on the table with about 1/2" of juice left in it. All over the couch now, spread quite efficiently over a wide area. The same couch that got treated with my lip marker stain yesterday. A fairly WHITE couch.
Get that wiped up the best I can, amidst "PUPPY PUPPY PUPPY!" screams and intervening with toys, and start washing dishes. I look over at the table. Owen is on top of it, he apparently decided to climb up one chair, across the table and then over to his chair w/a booster seat in it. Got him down. He gets distracted with his toothbrush, so I let him have it to 'brush teeth!' and he runs off. Next thing I know he's spinning it around in the dog water bowl, water every where. Sigh.
Grabbed the vacuum cleaner and started going into corners and along the baseboards. Get to the back room and repeat, only in here I decide to go ahead and take the couch cushions off b/c there are a couple pounds of crumbs and peanuts and pieces of dry cereal under them...I have to drape the cord up over the back of the couch (in the center of the room) to get it to reach. As I'm feeling all productive, I see Owen over the back of the couch. He's running parallel to the cord with the CORD IN HIS MOUTH. The puppy is freaking a bit about the vacuum so I put her in her crate, best thing I've done all day.
Get the room vacuumed, move on to the bathroom. At this point, Owen has decided to strip his clothes off. He has figured out a way to get his one piece romper thingie off his body without unsnapping anything, and then he wiggles his way out of his diaper. Amusing to watch, but annoying as crap to keep redressing him. I figured I might as well let him run around naked for a bit, maybe he'll start to potty train. Sit him on the potty chair for a few minutes, then grab the vacuum and run it quickly through the bathroom. Owen is sitting behind it, feeling the warm air that vents out the back. Get done with the vacuum and grab it to put it away...of COURSE there's a big puddle behind it. I grab a towel, plop it in the floor, put the vacuum away and grab the shark steamer. Figure at least he's peed and done with it for a little bit, let him stay naked.
I turned to get the funnel to put water in the steamer and when I look back, Owen is trying to pour his sippy cup into it. He drinks a LOT, it's about 1/4 or less of juice, enough to give it some small flavor, and he screams for it frequently. Luckily it was a spill proof style cup, so I don't think I need to worry about V8 Fusion coming out steam style. I have to wait a few minutes for the steam to build up and at this point Owen is screaming for 'BITES!' so I started reaching across the counter to get some more dry cereal to snack on, and I knocked a glass off the edge onto the floor.
A cheap wine glass, one that I had just washed earlier and set to dry, that splintered and shattered and scattered all over the place. Even glass dust...thankfully I had shoes on. I quickly scooped Owen up and put him in his booster seat. He tried to get down. I replaced him, he kept trying to sneak out of the chair...I honestly don't know why I didn't just put him in his crib but I managed to get the broom out and sweep up the big pieces, looking at the floor from different angles to see how far it had scattered and trying to make sure to get it all. I then grabbed the vacuum cleaner again to suck up all the remaining small and hard to reach pieces. Made sure Owen was still in his booster and started vacuuming. As I turned around, I saw him standing there, right behind the vacuum. Peeing. Right onto the back of it, and I suppose dripping down inside it. I throw down the vacuum tube and hurry to take him to his potty chair. Run back to quickly vacuum the remaining glass, which is not in the direction of the bathroom. Turn around, there is Owen, handing me a piece of glass.
I have no idea where he got it, it must have shot across the floor all the way toward the bathroom, I swept and vacuumed in that region and had no plans to go back that way, but dammitalltohell there was a piece of glass and he found it.
He is now properly diapered and wearing yet another one piece outfit. This one has sleeves rather than tank style, I hope it keeps him from finding a way out of it. Since I sat down to write this, he managed to get the dog food bowl from off the top of the dog crate...she had leftover from her breakfast feeding and he tossed all the little kibble bits into her crate. Which I now need to clean out.
Yo Gabba Gabba is playing in the background. I think I need a drink. All before 10:30am.
I'll get some pics up later.
PS...I wasn't sure if I liked the fit of these shoes, but I have a feeling it wouldn't be fair to return them now after having trekked through pee and glass.
Edit: Now the pics are up. The first photo is Owen's arm the morning after he got bit, and the 3rd pic is how it looks today, 3 days after he got bit. It's healing, thank goodness. Still no idea what did it. I added some of Holly in her cute little T-shirt, which she outgrew as soon as we took it off. And then there is some of Owen's artwork. The boy has a knack for finding crayons, markers, pens, LIPSTAIN, whatever. And he likes to use them.
How devious are those grins he's giving? He was thrilled at handing me his diaper, let me tell ya.
Edit #2: Be advised, this post was not the end of the day. His shenanigans continued throughout the afternoon, and he took a very short nap. But the final coup was after dinner...he managed to finagle my bottle of canola oil off the counter and pour over half of it onto and into the couch. Fin! I think the tears are well deserved.
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